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Heavenly Here by Dee Dee Boniecki (email:heavenlyhere@yahoo.com) A nonreligious publication sponsored by www.UnitedChurchOfPeace.com
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The
purpose of this
publication is to guide you on a path. The path leads to a life
that is more rewarding, magnificent, and blissful than many believe is possible.
If you choose to follow it, the path will bring incredible happiness, love, peace, and
fulfillment to you... a life which is absolutely heavenly. The author personally believes there is an even better life after this one (i.e. "the" heaven). However, this guide is not religious, it's written for people of all faiths. This guide's claim is that you can create a life here that is "a" heaven --a life that is nothing less than awesome! This destination can be reached regardless of your current situation or the circumstances of those surrounding you. By learning and adopting the practices and behaviors explained in this guide, you can begin seeing immediate, significant improvements to your life. Of course, for this to work, you must truly want to have a heavenly existence; you must decide to have a magnificent life rather than a mediocre one. Then you must do what is necessary to attain it. This guide can help you get there. So... if you'd like to start living a heavenly life as soon as possible, then read on....
THE
FIRST STEP: GAIN CONTROL OF YOUR
THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS To
attain a heavenly existence, it’s necessary to feel, nurture, and focus on positive thoughts and emotions; these
promote happiness. We also must
learn to quickly let go of the negative thoughts and emotions which inhibit
happiness (or, even better, replace them with positive ones).
Positive
emotions include love, feeling happy, joyful, grateful, peaceful, accepting,
trusting, safe, etc.
You’ll notice that some of these emotions are inter-related.
Negative emotions also tend to be inter-related.
Some negative emotions include fear, anger,
hate, prejudice, frustrated, worried, greed, possessiveness, distrust, jealousy,
etc. We want to focus on having positive
emotions. Fortunately, mastering
positive thoughts and emotions can automatically alleviate negative ones.
However, certain
negative emotions such as anger and fear shouldn’t be eliminated completely
because they can sometimes be necessary or helpful to us.
When anger is healthy, it can motivate us to resolve problems and bad
situations. Fear can be a life-saving instinct when danger is near.
However, when anger or fear is disproportionate, irrational, based on
prejudice, motivated by misunderstanding, or results in harm to others or
ourselves, then anger and fear are very destructive.
Now
we’ll talk about thoughts.
They are incredibly
powerful because thoughts create our reality.
For example, people can perceive themselves as prosperous or lacking.
No matter how much we have, if we don't think we have enough then we're
poor. A person can own a 1,700 square foot home and feel that it's too
small, while a homeless person (i.e., has a 0 sf home) can feel he has
everything he needs. In this
instance, the homeless person is richer than the homeowner.
“Reality"
is the result of perception. Therefore, to feel as though you live in a
heaven, you must perceive
that you live in a heaven. Furthermore, thoughts generate our emotions.
Positive thoughts generate positive emotions. Neutral thoughts can also generate positive emotions such as
peacefulness and acceptance. Negative
thoughts generate negativity. It’s
very important to be aware that negativity reduces happiness.
Therefore, if you’re going to attain a heavenly existence, you must
defeat negativity.
Negative thoughts keep us living in darkness (many past and present
philosophers have associated negativity with evil). In
order to live in light --to live the ultimate heavenly existence-- one must cast
off negativity. Instead, we must
perceive our environment, our circumstances, and other individuals either
neutrally or in a positive light. For
ultimate happiness, it’s crucial to replace negativity with a sense of gratitude
for our lives and our world, and to focus on what is good, not what is bad.
MARVELOUS
THINGS SURROUND US There
is so much that is good in our world, so much to appreciate. For
example, we’re surrounded by marvelous things! We
own or have access to many, many things which enhance our lives in countless
ways. These things work and
function almost all of the time. In
America, when we wake up each morning, most of us have all of the following
terrific things: A home, a bed with
linens, an alarm clock, working electricity, running water, functioning toilet,
operating sink, hot shower, toothbrush, hygiene supplies, sufficient clothing,
shoes, a phone, a cold refrigerator containing food, a stove, a microwave,
dishes, a TV, a comfortable seat for watching TV, and a vehicle available to us
or public transportation. Most of
these work at least 99% of the time. And
many of us are blessed with other great things which enhance our lives, such as
a cell phone, internet access, cable TV or satellite, computer, camera,
electronic games and other things which entertain us, etc. Aren't they all great? They
certainly help create a heavenly existence for us. There are also countless wonderful things outside of
our homes, such as: grocery stores,
convenience stores, gas stations, paved roads, working traffic lights, schools,
daycare centers, video stores, movie theaters, skating rinks, bowling alleys,
sports arenas, places to dance, live music venues, comedy houses, fine arts
centers, museums, restaurants, coffee shops, lounges, ice cream parlors,
playgrounds, youth and senior centers, restorative spiritual sanctuaries and
churches. There also are beautiful
parks. Flowers. Trees. Blue sky and
Sunny days. Impressive city skylines!
Stunning autumn colors, gorgeous mountains, aqua oceans, calming rivers,
peaceful lakes, lush green forests, full moons, awe-inspiring sunsets, hiking
trails and walkways with amazing scenery [in Arkansas, there are areas that are
downright breathtaking!]
Additionally, there are countless delightful things
to taste, smell, touch, and hear. But
definitely more precious than all of these things is…. PEOPLE!....
WONDERFUL
PEOPLE SURROUND US Our
lives are blessed every day with so many wonderful people. Every
day, our paths intersect numerous people behaving with kindness, goodness,
honesty, courteousness, and/or common decency.
Of course, each day, we’re likely to encounter someone behaving rudely
(since everyone is rude occasionally, particularly when we're running late or
under a lot of stress or pressure). But
overall, the number of good, honest, kind, courteous, and/or decent behaviors by
people far outnumber their poor ones. People
are very good most of the time.
If you have difficulty believing in the goodness of
people, then count the number of people who are mean or unkind to you today.
Compare that to the number of people who are not
mean or unkind to you. Also,
observe all the people who act nicely or pleasantly toward you.
Try to notice every time that someone smiles at you, asks how you're
doing, switches lanes or slows down for you to merge from an exit ramp, holds
the elevator, or extends any of innumerable other nice gestures toward you
during any single day. If you haven't been perceiving the vast majority of
people as good and decent, you can now see that they're much nicer than you've
been giving them credit for.
Furthermore,
people are noble and chivalrous.
Each and every day, people everywhere take care of their
responsibilities. They contribute
to our society in so many ways to make it run smoothly.
People obey laws and traffic lights, they stand in lines without butting
in front of others, they pay taxes, they feed their families (sometimes by
working multiple jobs). Convenience store employees report to work at 4 a.m., mail
couriers deliver over a thousand pieces each day, nurses heal the sick, teachers
teach our kids, police and fireman protect us, hardworking people fix our
heaters and air conditioners, repair our toilets, build and maintain our roads,
install traffic lights, work at grocery stores, sell us shoes and clothing….
the list goes on and on. People
everywhere are making contributions in their own ways.
People are so admirable.
Additionally, people often do favors for others. People take care of their loved ones, participate in school PTA's, coach kids, visit friends in hospitals, and attend funerals of their friends' loved ones. There are also many, many people who volunteer their time to good causes or who donate to charitable organizations.
People do so much good.
But... that's not what we're told.....
THE WORLD IS MUCH SAFER THAN IT IS PORTRAYED TO BE
Instead of being told that people are wonderful, we're constantly receiving negative messages from society and the media, telling us to not trust others, telling us there are lots of bad people out there and that we don't live in a good and safe world. It's so sad that we're fed this mis-information. It can blind us from seeing how wonderful and trustworthy people actually are. Many people live in fear that someone will take advantage of them, hurt them, or steal from them. We fear that bad people, criminals and even potential murderers are relatively nearby. Let's take a few minutes to ponder the actual likelihood of this: Compare the number of people who have taken advantage of you versus the number of people who haven't. Compare the number of people who have physically harmed you during your lifetime to the number who haven't. Compare the number who have stolen from you versus the number of people who haven't. And how many murderers have you encountered? Now think of the number of people you've encountered who protect others --law enforcement officers, security guards, teachers, parents, the many men with protective instincts for women and children. Compare this to the number of bad people you just counted. How unsafe can our world actually be when there are few criminals but so many watchers and protectors?
The
analysis we just did reveals that thieves, thugs, bad people and murderers are
actually very rare.
Many of us have been living in much more fear than is merited.
You've probably noticed that news programs, certain other media, and
sometimes our government give far more airtime to the prevalence of violence,
burglary, murder, tragedies, and "enemies" than their actual
prevalence in our world. When news programs spend the majority of their time focusing on what is bad, unfortunate, or tragic
--when those types of occurrences are actually less than 1% of all events-- it's
being advertised to us that we should live in fear.
We're being taught that we live in an unsafe, distressful, unpleasant
world. Fear is very concerning when
applied to a mass population because it weakens them and makes it much easier to
control and manipulate them politically and otherwise. Collectively, many
Americans now fear certain nations. To
keep this fear in perspective, we need to remind ourselves that the last time the U.S. was attacked by another country was at Pearl
Harbor in World War II. (Note
that the Twin Tower buildings weren’t attacked by another country, they were
attacked by the demented organization Al-Qaeda (and, contrary to rumor, the hijackers weren’t sponsored
by Afghanistan or Iraq; none of the 19 hijackers were from Afghanistan or Iraq.)
Try
to be aware that we live in a culture that promotes excessive fear. However,
our world is not a scary one; the "facts" presented to us have been
very, very skewed. If fear has an
irrational grip over you --if you feel as though you live in an unsafe world
rather than one that is safe almost everywhere almost all of the time --then
begin to unshackle yourself from that wicked grip of fear. It’s impossible to live a heavenly existence if you live in
fear and/or don’t trust other people enough.
Fear and distrust rule in a hell, not in a place which is heavenly. Also,
don’t let mis-information, prejudice, negative media and societal messages
keep you from seeing how wonderful people are. And
recognize that people are wonderful everywhere,
in every
country across the globe.
HOWEVER,
THERE IS SUFFERING HERE, SO HOW CAN IT
BE HEAVENLY? It’s
a fact that everywhere –our neighborhoods, our cities, our nation and our
world –there are some bad people as well as tragedies and awful situations. You
might think it can’t possibly be heavenly here since terrible things do happen
–and some of them can’t ever be eliminated.
Humans are flawed, people sometimes harm others, criminals exist, and our
world does have locations with extreme poverty, wars, natural disasters,
prejudice and hatred, exploitation, and some children and especially kind people
suffer deadly illnesses. Furthermore, we all personally experience
terrible misfortunes from time-to-time. Nonetheless,
we must keep in mind that most of the time, for most people, things are good.
The number of minutes when we personally endure tragedy, significant
misfortune, or other suffering are extremely miniscule relative to the number of
minutes we experience a good life. We can also console ourselves that suffering and misfortunes do have a positive side because they enable us to appreciate when times are good. If there weren't some awful things, we would probably take the wonderful, marvelous things and occurrences for granted. One must feel gratitude in order to recognize that they're in a heaven. Misfortunes and suffering make gratitude possible because they provide a comparative reference. "Good" can't be comprehended unless "bad" has been experienced –and with the pain in recent enough memory. Without a comparative reference, we would be unlikely to perceive or recognize when times and our surroundings are heavenly, rather than bad. Thus, hardships can actually enable us to perceive and appreciate the times when life is heavenly.
There's another positive side of suffering.
Suffering causes us to become better, more evolved people.
From suffering comes personal growth, learning, greater wisdom, more
compassion, and usually a stronger connection to God or our Higher Power.
When we become kinder, more compassionate, better people, we create a
more heavenly world for ourselves as well as others.
The
author personally feels no doubt that there’s a God. And she
does not believe that God wants us to suffer. She doesn’t believe that
God creates or causes hardships, diseases or tragedies. Those occur due to other
forces.
For example, she believes that cancer is a creation of satan (some call
it “the force of evil”, “universal evil”, etc).
However, God takes all of our
lemons and turns them into lemonade. No matter what happens,
God will somehow enable a positive outcome or outcomes to eventually result.
Isn't it amazing how often you can reflect on a terrible past experience
and see how at least one favorable outcome resulted?
Thus, we can sometimes even feel gratitude for past
hardships.
THE
NECESSITY OF GRATITUDE And
now we’ll talk more about gratitude, because gratitude is fundamental
to happiness and having a heavenly life. Regardless
of our current situation, it’s essential to appreciate those countless
blessings we have – and we have blessings all of the time, even during our
hard times.
For example, when you’re in the middle of bad times, well at least you’re alive.
You
were able to get out of bed that morning to experience another day of life, even
if it’s not a good one. And hard times always pass, at least eventually, and then things are
good again ~ and they are for most of the days in your life.
Life is an amazing gift. Furthermore,
if you have at least fair health, then you're fortunate. If you can use
your arms and legs, then you're very fortunate (if you don’t think this
is a big deal, just ask anyone who can’t get out of a wheelchair).
If you have hearing or are able to hear with hearing aids, then you're
also very fortunate. If
you have sight, then you own a marvelous asset to be able to see
all the wonderful people and things in our world. Those of us with all of the above gifts can consider
ourselves very lucky.
THE
GIFT OF LOVE The
greatest gift of all, next to life itself, is: Love. Love is the most potent ingredient of a heavenly
life. Love
is a blessing which you can have as much as you want. There’s
only so much you can do to improve your health, appearance and certain other
aspects of your life, but you can experience limitless
love. Love is unlimited because
you can create it by giving love to
others. When you give love to others, you personally feel and experience love. An
intense and particularly fulfilling form of love usually accompanies our
relationships with our children, spouse or partner, parents, siblings, and other
relatives. A very special love can
also be felt with friends.
In fact, there are friends we care so deeply about --and who care so
deeply about us-- that they become like family.
We sometimes choose certain people to "be" a parent, grandparent,
sister, brother, or child to us. In
fact, we all know people who devotedly consider their pets to be their children! The
point is that you don’t have to have a spouse or partner, or living or
emotionally close family members, to enjoy the amazing grace that comes from
intense love. You might not have a “partner” but have an unattached single
friend who you share many memorable times in your life with.
You might not have a family, but you can choose and create your own if
you want to. Of
course, love doesn’t need to be limited to just family and friends. In
fact, it should not be.
In order to have a truly heavenly life, we must fill our lives with
even more love than we can receive from those sources.
We must expand our love outside our inner circles.
Allow yourself to extend love very broadly -- don’t restrict it.
A heavenly world requires that we love many.
We can love our neighbors, co-workers, church members, customers, members
of our social networks, teammates, classmates, students, patients, golf buddies,
people who attend our gardening club, diving club or quilting circle, etc etc.
You can even feel love for
strangers.
When you reach that
level of love, you begin to have a very profound effect on making the
world a better place. Love
knows no bounds. You might even consider Going Viral with your love by
connecting to a much larger world. With
the World Wide Web, you can build
relationships across the globe. There
are now so many mediums to do this: email,
Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, International Hospitality, CouchSurfer.com, and
numerous international networking sites on the web.
It's no
wonder that it’s called the World Wide Web. The most fantastic thing about the internet is that it connects people. We’re all part of one human race – we’re all ONE.
We’re all connected, like a Web. And
now we can be connected so easily! (Thank
God (and Al Gore) for the internet!) Try to love as much and as many people and living
beings as you can. Your life will
be incredibly enriched as a result. (And, of course, if you believe in God,
deeply love God, and allow an intimate connection with God, then you feel a very intense, constant, unconditional love from that
source also.)
WHAT
IS THE BEST WAY TO LOVE AND FEEL LOVED? Some people might want to know: what is the best way
to love and feel loved? The answer
is: Give it! Since we feel the emotion of
love when we give it, then if we choose to give a whole lot, we'll feel
very rich with love. Love
is both intangible and tangible.
It can be seen tangibly through acts of generosity, caring, and kindness
– these are how love is expressed. There
are some very quick, free, and easy ways to give and be kind to others.
One of the best and most effective ways to spread kindness is to SMILE.
:) Smiling is a wonderful way to
extend friendliness, love and goodwill toward another. And it takes
less than a second to move your face muscles into the smile position. :)
HUGS are another terrific way to share love and express caring.
Most people feel instantly warmed and more
valued when they receive a hug. Therefore,
if someone feels comfortable with being hugged, then give them plenty.
Listening attentively to someone who needs to talk is another way
to give; it shows that you care.
Strangers can also be given to, simply by waving, greeting them, or making light chat. Extending
friendliness and goodwill toward a stranger is a way of telling them that you're
happy they're on this planet too. That makes people feel good. There are thousands and thousands of other ways to give and be kind to others. Here are just a few possibilities: Give your mate a massage or back rub; bring him or her a cold drink or a mug of warm tea when they’re exhausted or stressed; play a game with your kid; take your kids to the park; send flowers to your Mom to let her know you appreciate her; share a funny email with friends; walk your dog; mail a card to someone you know is lonely; speak encouraging words to someone who needs to hear them; tip a few extra dollars; hold the door open for the person following a bit behind you; bake a birthday cake for a friend; volunteer at an animal shelter; volunteer at a women's shelter; serve meals at a homeless shelter; give $5 to a homeless person; donate clothing and blankets to a charity thrift shop; help an elderly person walk to a door; visit the infirm in a nursing home; deliver a valentine to an elderly widow on Val Day; visit a sick friend in the hospital; attend the funeral of a friends' loved one; sponsor a child from a third world country; donate to a food drive for Thanksgiving; contribute to Toys For Tots; organize a retirement farewell for a co-worker; bring donuts to work; straighten up the public restroom; carry a bag in your car or when walking so you can pick up litter near your path [note: this is one of the author's favorites since litter is so ugly. If you know someone who litters, please urge them to stop. Ask them whether they want to leave the world an uglier place instead of a more beautiful one (or at least as nice as they found it).] The above list could go on and on. There's no shortage of ways to create a heaven here. :) An additional benefit from giving is that we receive more from others when we give more to them. It’s always nice to be on the receiving end of gifts, too. :) Thus, giving is Win-Win. It feels terrific to give!
And as said before, when we express
love, we feel love.
Therefore, the more you give, care, and are kind, the more heavenly your
life will be. Giving truly is a
gift to the giver.
MAKE
SURE YOU LOVE YOURSELF TOO! We’ve
now discussed the importance of loving others. It’s
very important to keep in mind that you must also love
yourself.
Self-love is absolutely essential to happiness. Self love comes from accepting yourself for who you are, and from treasuring yourself as an awesome, wonderful, amazing person. Try to accept your flaws and weaknesses, and to focus on your many strengths and great qualities. Of course, you can strive to overcome those traits you find undesirable. It's especially good to defeat habits which are harmful to you. However, if you're unable to change them, then just acknowledge that you're human and embrace the fact that you're still amazing, incredible, fantastic, and One Of A Kind. :)
ACCEPTANCE OF OTHERS The
concept of acceptance involves acceptance of ourselves AND acceptance of others.
Just as we must accept ourselves for who we are, we must accept others
for who they are. We
can’t change other people. And
everyone is imperfect, we’re all merely human. Thus, it’s best to just focus
on a person’s good qualities and forgive their apparent shortcomings.
(Of course, if their shortcomings
are detrimental to your own welfare, then you may need to distance yourself from
them.) Additionally,
it’s impossible to accurately judge another person. None
of us has the omnipotent knowledge required to do that. We're unable to stand in their shoes or read their minds.
We don't live their life, we haven’t lived their past, our minds don’t
think alike, and we have different values.
Thus, let’s abandon our preconceptions and criteria for how we think
others should be.
If
we find ourselves making a negative judgment about someone, we can counter that
by instantaneously making an allowance for them. For
example, let's say that John dislikes when a driver behind him quickly honks the
horn after a traffic light turns green. Because
John considers that behavior to be rude, John thinks "What a jerk!" when someone does it. Instead of
thinking that a person is a jerk, John could make an allowance for the
behavior. He could instead think "Gosh, that person must be in a big
hurry, I hope she makes it on time" or "That poor person must be under
a lot of stress!" Notice that these thoughts don’t color John's
world negatively, but thinking "What a jerk!" does. The fact is,
there are a multitude of reasons why that driver honked her horn; there's no way
for John to know why. We can counter a negative assumption by “making up”
an excuse for the person’s behavior (such as “gosh, they’re in a hurry”)
because that “reason” is just as likely to be true as any negative
reason we could presume (such as “because they’re a jerk”). Since we can't fully know the reasons behind others' behaviors, we can conclude that it’s good to Go Easy on people (including yourself). People are so good so much of the time that they deserve to be given breaks. Besides, we’re all just human.
"THE OPPOSITE OF ACCEPTANCE"
The opposite of acceptance is: Prejudice. If we want to live in a more heavenly world, we must work together to abolish prejudice. Prejudice results in feelings of hatred, disdain and distrust of others. And, tragically, feelings of hatred, disdain and/or distrust can breed acts of violence --including war, the ultimate execution of violence.
Extensive
research has proven that prejudice is irrational, and that when a stereotype or
generalization is applied to any particular individual, it’s frequently wrong.
Charles Stangor Ph.D. is currently one of the most respected researchers
and authors in that field of research. In
his highly respected book “Stereotypes and Prejudice” (2000), Stangor writes
that “when we use beliefs about a group to judge an individual group member,
there is a strong potential for inaccuracy.” The work by famous research
psychologist Dr. Gordon Allport and many other research studies have revealed
prejudice to be irrational, unwarranted,
and not based on facts or reality. Prejudice can be learned from parents, leaders, teachers and
others of influence. Prejudice can
also result from a subconscious need for some individuals to feel they belong to
a group that is superior to at least one other group, especially those with
different skin color, ethnicity, nationality, language, or whose religious
differences are evidenced by their visible practices and/or clothing (such as
turbans, veils, gowns, etc.) If
you catch yourself having a prejudiced thought, there are strategies you can
use. For example, as soon as you
recognize the thought, you can counter it by saying to yourself, “I shouldn't
think that! I don't know that person well enough to know that."
Another strategy for curbing stereotyping, criticizing, or generalizing another
person is to mentally command yourself "Stop!" when you catch yourself
doing it. A third strategy is to counter a negative thought with a
positive thought. You could replace the thought "she’s
overweight" with the thought "she’s beautiful." However, the most effective way to avoid prejudice is to simply find and focus on the best in people instead of the worst.
THE ATTAINMENT OF WORLD PEACE
Containment of prejudice is one of merely five requirements to attain World Peace! In order to halt violence and war, we simply need to:
(1) Place tremendous value on human life (2) Suppress hate and prejudice (3) Accept, permit and respect others' beliefs, values, and cultures (4) Not allow any country to forcibly overtake the territory of another; and (5) Not interfere with another people's choice of government
It's wrong to try to impose a different form of government upon a country. The type of government should be whatever those people want it to be --even if they have chosen to tolerate one which is oppressive. We can trust that if a population becomes unhappy enough under a dictator or horrible leadership, they will undertake the overthrow of their dictator or rulers, or require that certain demands be met. When a population becomes disgruntled enough, the power of the masses is launched. That power can't be overstated. Look at history. Again and again, military dictatorships and rulers have been defeated by the immense, awesome force of the masses when they unite and revolt. Masses are so powerful that violence can actually be avoided by them (as proven by Gandhi). Of course, that doesn't mean they aren't putting their lives at risk. If a population chooses to revolt, they have chosen to take that risk. However, an outside country has no right to decide it's fine for those people to lose their lives. That is solely their prerogative.
Using
the same principal as the power of the masses, nations of the world can
collaborate against any particular country that’s behaving badly or assaulting
another country. There are various non-violent tactics such as Sincere
negotiation efforts, but these days the most effective strategy is Economic
warfare. With today's global
economy, nations can easily defeat an assaulting government simply by uniting
against it economically (while ensuring that its civilians have sufficient food
and other aid when sanctions are used). Let’s
choose to stop violence and aggression against all people and all nations. After all, we have to accomplish only five things and we can have World Peace.
Let’s do it! (And then we’ll have a VERY heavenly world. :)
FORGIVE
OTHERS AND LET GO OF ANGER A
heavenly life requires that we let go of anger and that we forgive those who
have harmed us.
Anger which is carried will eat you up inside. To carry anger is to carry pain.
Whether your anger is at a person or a situation, you may feel more
vindicated by holding onto your anger and allowing yourself to hate or resent
someone or something. However,
you're not actually vindicated --you're simply allowing yourself to continue to
suffer from something that occurred in the past or that you have no control
over. And you don't deserve to
continue to hurt, just as you didn't deserve to be hurt in the first place.
Therefore, let go of any anger, and forgive those who have wronged you.
Try to accept the fact that the person or persons were flawed (as we all
are) and made a very bad mistake or mistakes.
Then drop that baggage of hurt and resentment, and put the past in the
past. You can’t be in a heaven if you’re carrying grudges and anger
inside. You must free yourself from
that emotional pain.
Of
course, while it’s important to let go of anger rather than carry it, it is
still necessary to acknowledge your anger and deal with it. Therefore,
recognize your anger and then take an appropriate course of action (ex:
communicate with the individual who offended you to see if you can make things
right; volunteer for an organization which strives to prevent occurrences
like the one which distressed you; etc). Once
you’ve done what you can, then drop it. Let
it go.
A final note on anger and forgiveness:
In addition to forgiving others, it’s important to forgive yourself
for past mistakes, and to also let go of self-anger.
You deserve forgiveness just as
much as anyone else does.
HAVE FUN, RELAX, AND ENJOY! Now that we have discussed the emotional aspects of having a heavenly life, such as love, forgiveness, being positive and accepting, feeling gratitude, etc., let’s talk about bringing more joy to your life to make it even more heavenly. The first step to having a more joyful life
is to
have lots of fun and enjoyment. :) Incorporate
plenty of fun and enjoyable activities into your life.
And do it every day. Even
the busiest working parent needs to set aside at least half an hour each day to
do something just for him or her which he or she finds enjoyable. There are countless pleasures and things to enjoy
here on earth. They are gifts to
us! By taking advantage of
opportunities for enjoyment, we're opening those gifts. Life is meant to be
savored and celebrated. So unwrap
those gifts! Rejoice! LIVE life! Have plenty
of fun, enjoy many pleasures, and indulge sufficiently in delightful rest and
relaxation.
LAUGH! You
can add even more joy to your life with Humor and Laughter.
Laughter
is one of life's wonderful --and free--
Simple Pleasures. Humor is
delightful and uplifting. Try to
see and laugh at all of the funny things out there. Also
try to develop a habit of finding the comical, amusing side of the Not So Funny
things; that habit is a great strategy for reducing stress and lightening up
difficult situations. There’s
truth to the saying “A joke-a-day will keep the psychiatrist away” LOL ;)
Find opportunities to laugh and to share that laughter with others.
MINIMIZE
STRESS, WORRY, FRUSTRATION, AND FEAR Humor
is just one of the ways to reduce the stressors in our lives. Our
goal is to live a heavenly existence --and a heaven isn’t a place filled with
a lot of stress. To have a heavenly
life, we need to minimize stress, worry, frustration, and fear to the extent
that we can. There are ways to do that: #1: Recognize the pointlessness of worrying.
Worry is a negative emotion.
During any moment that a person is worrying, they've used up time which
could have been spent experiencing contentment, peace, and/or happiness. Furthermore, worrying is generally useless.
It's true there are some things which must concern us, and there are responsibilities
and things we must take care of in order to meet our needs (and possibly even to
survive). However, all we can do is what
we can do. Sometimes there's nothing we
can do (ex: change someone else's decision, or avoid a traffic stall when
there's no detour). Therefore, just do what you rationally can and then set your worries aside. If
you continue worrying after you've already done all that you reasonably can (or
when nothing can be done), then you're simply draining your energy, squashing your happiness, and hampering
your ability to function optimally. #2: Live in the present.
Living in the present is
another way to control stress. Living in the present means to not dwell on the past, and to
also not dwell on the future. The
past is over, so there’s no sense in having regrets or spending much mental
time there. The future isn’t here
yet and you can’t know what it will bring, so there’s no sense in worrying
about it. Of course, we can reflect
on the past to learn from it, and we can think about the future to plan for it.
However, research proves that excessive stress and worry are suffered if you
spend a lot of time dwelling on the past or the future. Therefore, try to just focus on the present moment. #3: Keep things in perspective. It's
also helpful to recognize that sometimes we place more importance on things than
we need to. When we do this, we're causing ourselves unnecessary
pressure. It's good to take a Time Out to determine whether something is
really all that important. Most things are not all that important.
In fact, there are some things that you may think are important
that actually aren't important at all. Some
things don’t need to be done right away –and some things don’t even
actually need to be done. You can lift a lot of unnecessary pressure off
yourself by trimming your TO DO list. #4:
Don't get worked up over trivial things. Try not to let trivial
things upset or anger you. Small
things just aren’t worth letting yourself feel the stressful emotions of
frustration and aggravation. Follow
the advice in Dr. Richard Carlson's book: "Don't sweat the small
stuff". #5: Defeat fear through trust and faith.
Another way to defeat worrying, stress and fear
is to have trust and faith in God. Obviously,
not everyone can do this because not everyone believes in God.
But if you do, you're likely to find that "putting things in God's
hands" is the most effective way to cast away
worries, stress and fears. Trust
and faith in God can be extremely comforting. It's very powerful. #6: Live Simply. "Living
Simply" means to get rid of "The Garbage” --the excess stuff, excess
time commitments, and other unnecessary burdens in our lives.
We can make certain choices to accomplish this.
For example, if we have a stressful job, we can search for a less
stressful one. If our finances are
causing us stress, we can take measures to reduce our expenses by eliminating
extras such as frequent dining out, paying for lawnmowing, paying for extra
channels on TV, paying for special phone features, etc.
If our schedule is too busy, we can be more selective about which
activities we continue. If our
commute to work is terrible, we can move nearer to our job.
Of course, making such changes can take time as well as effort.
It's not possible to re-locate overnight, it can take a while to sell a
home, etcetera. But we do have
choices through which we have plenty of control (just not complete control) of
our lives. Take a look at your life
to see if there are ways you can re-structure it into a less stressful one.
Next, design a plan. And
then start taking actions to trim down the "unnecessaries" in your
life that are causing stress. Note
that it's possible to have excessive stress in our lives from Maintaining Stuff
(or working too hard to acquire Stuff). Boats,
large houses, motorcycles, race cars, investments and numerous other types of
possessions can sometimes cause more stress and hassle than the amount of
pleasure, leisure, and/or enjoyment they bring.
If your monthly payment on a beautiful house is creating more stress than
the amount of enjoyment you're getting from it, then downsize. If the high costs of maintaining, repairing, docking, and
fueling a boat cause you more stress than the amount of pleasure you get from
going out on the boat, then get rid of it.
If you have a large piece of land that requires an extensive amount of
your time to maintain but you hate spending your time mowing and doing outdoor
work, then consider selling it. Evaluate whether an expensive and/or
high-maintenance possession is truly worth it to you.
It’s possible your Stuff is actually reducing your overall
quality of life by taking time, effort and money away from enjoyable and
fulfilling things such as spending more
time with your family, reading a book, walking in the park, playing basketball
with your buddies, donating to a favored charity, or doing volunteer work. It's good to
realize that if a person focuses too much on acquiring Stuff and/or money, their
happiness will actually be impeded because a materialistic focus will distract them from those priorities which truly
enhance happiness and create a genuinely heavenly life.
THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING
PURPOSE(S) People have a need to feel
important. Each of us needs
to feel significant, valuable, and as though our life has meaning.
We can fill that need through having a sense of Purpose. A
feeling of Purpose results from somehow contributing
toward the welfare of society, your family, a particular group or person,
other living beings, or even just your own well-being.
For some of us, this contribution is met through a job.
For homemakers, purpose can be found in maintaining their home and/or
caring for their children. Many retirees find Purpose by helping take care of
loved ones or by volunteering. Students
can find Purpose in working toward a degree.
Another way to feel Purpose is to undertake actions and/or activities
that make the world an even better place (and when you make the world a
better place for others, you also make it a more heavenly place for you. :)
Every day, try to feel Purpose in at least one thing that you do.
You'll feel more satisfied and fulfilled in your life as a result.
HAPPINESS EXISTS WITHIN YOU We previously
concluded that Stuff doesn't bring happiness.
Happiness also isn't delivered by another person or people --not your
mate, your parents, your children, your boss, your minister, or anyone else.
It also isn't dependent on a certain situation occurring, such as having
a better job, a bigger house, losing 30 pounds, meeting Mr. Right or Ms. Right,
etc etc. Happiness doesn't come
from externals. Happiness exists
entirely within you. It's dependent
solely on your chosen thoughts, perceptions, emotional reactions and
non-reactions, and current behaviors.
You can have control over those (and no one else can).
If the people
surrounding you don't behave well, if others aren't busy making the world a
better place, if wars continue and violence grows worse than it is today, you
can still have a heavenly existence.
You can live in "a" heaven regardless of what is happening around you --
because you create your own heaven (your own reality).
JUST ONE LAST THING BEFORE WE CONCLUDE It's
difficult to tie this section to the prior ones, so it's being added somewhat as
an afterthought.
Nonetheless, it's very important to mention that we need to protect our planet
because, obviously, it can't be heavenly here if the earth becomes unhabitable.
Unfortunately, we have neglected and exploited earth's resources for a very long
time.
As a result, extremely severe harm has been done.
Protecting our planet is no longer an option; it's now an urgently
critical necessity. Fortunately,
there are things which can be done to prevent further damage.
Primarily, we must obtain more legislation for environmental protection.
For example, recycling needs to be generally mandatory in most places.
Ideally, every person should recycle.
If we also decrease use of non-recyclable non-biodegradables (such as
styrofoam), reduce electric and gas consumption, conserve water (locations with
excess can sell it to those in need), restrict pollutants, and maintain enough
trees, then our great grandchildren should inherit a planet which they can live
on.
CONCLUSION This guide has proposed that each and every one of us can have a heavenly life on earth. We simply must live in the ways which will get us there. Achieving a heavenly existence does require some work, patience and time. But being in a heaven is certainly worth the effort to get there. So why not do it?? The next moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. It presents an immediate opportunity to begin living in a better way --and to begin reaping the rewards of doing so. Therefore --with no better time than the present-- let's get started! :)
Acknowledgements I want to thank the many friends who so kindly gave their invaluable suggestions and feedback on my writing and this website. I wish to extend my special thanks to Tom Fenix (FenixProductions.com), Steve Johnson, Donna Skulman, Duana Welch (lovesciencemedia.com), and Russell Black. Your many suggestions were tremendously helpful, and I couldn't have written this without you. You're all just wonderful. Love, DD
Please consider sharing this website or a printout with others! By sharing this weblink or a printout with others, you can make their lives more heavenly too! Email is one of the most effective (and easy! ...and free!) ways to do this. Simply email your group with the weblink HeavenlyHere.com and tell them you like it and are recommending it to others. Word-of-mouth, Facebook wallposts and messages, and Tweeting are also great ways to spread information. If you'd like to distribute wallet cards to spread the word, just email heavenlyhere@yahoo.com and she'll send them to you at cost. Thank you in advance for any and all efforts you make. They're truly appreciated and I feel certain will help make our world an even better place.
Other publications which you might enjoy: If you liked this publication, you might enjoy other writings and websites authored by me. At www.BecomeHappier.Freevar.com, there's an uplifting and potentially life-changing booklet presenting 9 principles that can enhance all aspects of your life. The site also has fun articles, heartwarming stories, jokes, and other great stuff to put plenty of smiles on your face. :)
Although the booklets at BecomeHappier.Freevar.com and HeavenlyHere.com are not religious (just a bit spiritual), I do have a religious publication at www.OurWonderfulGod.com which shares my particular Christian beliefs and convictions. I see some things in "a different way" than taught by streamline Christianity. Most of my Christian friends have told me they really like it (though not all of them like it, as to be expected with religious writings). I also have a few non-religious friends, Jewish friends, and a Muslim friend who like it even though they're not Christians. If nothing else, you'll probably find "Our Wonderful God" to be interesting and thought-provoking. (Oh, and if you do, then don't forget to tell others about it! ;)
"Living A Heavenly Life" is a non-religious publication sponsored by
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